Drama.  You know it when you see it.  But do you see it when you create it?

You can always tell when someone is a drama queen (or king).  There always seems to be something wrong.  Someone is plotting against them.  There is some kind of conspiracy to make their lives miserable.  There is anger, hurt, worry, panic, irritation, need for attention, manipulation.  There are words used about others such as "always", "never", "worst".  You listen to the gossip.  You feel drawn into the drama and feel like now you need to make a choice or take a side.  Yes, you know it when you see it.  You hear the sucking sound of it and feel it pulling you in.  But how do you stop it?

Pretty much, you cannot control another human being's personal drama. But you can control your own.  The first thing you need to do is recognize what is happening.  The truth is, we control much of our own reality.  If you think everyone is out to get you, you will give out those vibes, you will create behaviors around that belief and ultimately it will appear as your circumstances.

It always is beneficial to step back and see things from outside of your little box.  You know how easy it is to tell when someone else is creating his or her own disaster; so, step back and look at your circumstances as an objective third party.  There are things you already know:
1.  There is more than one way to look at things.  (Your perception is not always completely correct.  It is colored by your emotions and your history.)
2.  Most of the time, everyone else is way too busy with their own lives to be focused on making your life miserable. 
3.  Other people's behavior is a result of their own perceptions and history and personal circumstances;  it very rarely, really, has anything to do with you.
4.  Anger and fear make you react in ways that usually only makes things worse. 
5.  For the most part, people are doing the best they can with what they have or what they know.
6.  The more you talk about something that irritates you, the more it seems to irritate you.


So when you feel a drama starting, ask yourself:
1.  Am I seeing things accurately? 
2.  Could there be another way to look at this?
3.  Can I give myself a little space here?  or Can I give someone else a little space to be who they are without thinking everything reflects on me?
4.  Can I take a deep breath and slow down a bit?
5.  What is something productive I can do to change the circumstances, rather that just talk about how bad things are?

If  you want drama, go to the movies.  If you want a productive life, take responsibility for it.

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